INVITE STRESS
Edition 8
The Stress Attraction Cycle
Why Some People Keep Attracting Stress Wherever They Go
Have you ever met someone who always seems to be under stress?
It doesn't seem to matter where they work.
Who they marry.
How much they earn.
Or where they live.
Stress follows them.
At first glance, we assume that life is simply unfair to them.
But after studying stress for more than three decades, I began asking a different question.
Is stress following these individuals?
Or...
Are they unknowingly attracting it?
That question gradually led me to what I now call The Stress Attraction Cycle.
It explains why many stressful experiences repeat themselves, not because life refuses to change, but because we unknowingly repeat the same psychological patterns.
The First Stress
Every cycle begins with an event.
A disagreement.
A deadline.
A financial problem.
A criticism.
An examination.
A medical report.
A relationship issue.
The event itself activates stress.
This is perfectly natural.
Stress prepares us for action.
The cycle could end here.
But very often, it doesn't.
The First Mistake
Instead of asking,
"What should I do?"
we often ask,
"Why is this happening to me?"
The mind begins creating stories.
"I always fail."
"Nobody understands me."
"I'll never succeed."
"This is impossible."
The event has ended.
But the thinking continues.
Stress increases.
The Second Mistake
The increased stress influences our decisions.
We postpone.
Avoid.
Delay.
Overreact.
Blame.
Withdraw.
Argue.
Or simply hope the problem disappears.
The decision feels comfortable for a while.
But the problem usually remains.
The Third Mistake
Because the problem remains unresolved,
new consequences appear.
Deadlines become shorter.
Relationships become weaker.
Confidence decreases.
More problems develop.
Naturally,
more stress appears.
The Cycle Repeats
The new stress produces more faulty thinking.
Faulty thinking produces weaker decisions.
Weak decisions produce ineffective actions.
Ineffective actions create new problems.
The new problems generate even more stress.
And the cycle continues.
The Stress Attraction Cycle
Stress
↓
Thinking
↓
Decision
↓
Action
↓
Consequences
↓
More Stress
Notice something important.
Stress itself did not create the cycle.
The cycle was created by the interaction between our thoughts, decisions, and actions.
Stress simply provided the energy.
Breaking the Cycle
Most stress-management approaches try to reduce stress after the cycle has already become established.
I prefer to intervene much earlier.
At the point where the cycle begins.
Ask better questions.
Think more productively.
Make stronger decisions.
Take appropriate action.
Resolve the problem before unnecessary stress begins accumulating.
A Student's Cycle
A student postpones studying.
Stress increases.
The student worries.
The worrying reduces concentration.
Preparation becomes poorer.
Performance declines.
Confidence falls.
The next examination produces even more stress.
The student believes examinations are the problem.
Perhaps the real problem is the cycle.
A Manager's Cycle
A manager avoids giving constructive feedback.
Small problems remain unresolved.
Performance declines.
The manager becomes frustrated.
Communication becomes harsher.
Relationships suffer.
The team's performance falls even further.
Again,
stress is blamed.
But the cycle has been quietly operating in the background.
A Relationship Cycle
A misunderstanding occurs.
One partner avoids discussing it.
The other interprets the silence negatively.
Distance increases.
Communication decreases.
Resentment grows.
Eventually,
both conclude that the relationship itself is stressful.
Perhaps the relationship is not the original problem.
Perhaps the cycle is.
The SUPRA Perspective
One of the goals of SUPRA STRESS BUSTERS™ is to help individuals recognize this cycle before it becomes self-perpetuating.
That is why every worksheet asks a different question.
Each question interrupts a different stage of the cycle.
Is the threat real?
Which stress am I choosing?
What story is my mind creating?
What did I do with my stress?
What am I avoiding?
What is this stress preparing me for?
Am I becoming calm or becoming ready?
Each question weakens the cycle.
Each answer strengthens the individual.
The Good News
If stress can become a cycle,
so can growth.
A better thought leads to a better decision.
A better decision leads to better action.
Better action produces better results.
Success increases confidence.
Confidence improves future decisions.
Capability grows.
The same process that once attracted stress can now attract growth.
Final Thought
Perhaps the greatest mistake we make is believing that stress is something that simply happens to us.
Often,
stress is not merely an event.
It is a process.
Fortunately,
processes can be understood.
They can be interrupted.
They can be changed.
The moment we recognize the cycle,
we begin to regain control over it.
That is where lasting stress prevention begins.
Until next time,
Dr. Sujendra Prakash
INVITE STRESS – A New Perspective on Stress, Burnout, and Human Capability
"Stress may begin with life. But the cycle that follows is often created by us, and that means it can also be changed by us."
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