INVITE STRESS
Edition 5
The Price of Avoiding Stress
Every Stress You Avoid Today May Return Tomorrow - Larger Than Before
Most of us believe that avoiding stress is a sensible goal.
When something feels uncomfortable, we postpone it.
When a conversation feels difficult, we avoid it.
When a decision seems risky, we delay it.
For a while, we feel relieved.
The stress appears to disappear.
But has it really gone?
Or has it simply been postponed?
After studying stress for more than three decades, I have come to believe that many of the greatest stresses in life are not caused by the challenges we face.
They are caused by the challenges we avoid.
The Comfort Trap
Imagine a student who has an examination in three months.
Studying today feels stressful.
Watching television feels relaxing.
So the student postpones studying.
For one evening, stress decreases.
Tomorrow arrives.
The books remain unopened.
Again, the student chooses temporary comfort.
Weeks pass.
The examination approaches.
Now the student experiences far greater stress than before.
The stress was never eliminated.
It quietly accumulated.
Avoidance Feels Good, At First
Avoidance offers an immediate reward.
It reduces discomfort.
That is why it is so attractive.
Unfortunately, the relief is often temporary.
The problem remains.
While we enjoy a few moments of comfort, the situation continues to develop.
Deadlines become closer.
Relationships become weaker.
Health problems become more serious.
Opportunities disappear.
Avoidance purchases short-term comfort by borrowing from future peace.
The Conversation That Never Happened
Imagine two friends who misunderstand each other.
One of them thinks,
"I don't want an argument."
So the conversation is postponed.
Days become weeks.
Weeks become months.
The misunderstanding grows.
Resentment replaces confusion.
Eventually, repairing the relationship becomes much harder than having the original conversation.
The difficult conversation created stress.
Avoiding it created even more.
The Medical Check-up
A person notices an unusual symptom.
Visiting the doctor feels frightening.
"I'll wait a few more weeks."
For a while, anxiety decreases.
Nothing has to be faced today.
But if the condition worsens, tomorrow's stress may become far greater than today's.
Sometimes the stress we avoid is the very stress that could have protected us.
Growth Always Has a Price
Learning a new skill is stressful.
Starting a business is stressful.
Leading a team is stressful.
Becoming a parent is stressful.
Speaking before an audience is stressful.
None of these experiences are comfortable.
Yet they are often the experiences that expand our abilities.
If we avoid every situation that produces stress, we may also avoid many of the situations that produce growth.
The Hidden Cost
Every avoided stress has a hidden price.
Avoid studying today...
Pay with panic tomorrow.
Avoid exercise today...
Pay with poorer health later.
Avoid saving money today...
Pay with financial pressure later.
Avoid learning new skills today...
Pay with fewer opportunities tomorrow.
Avoid resolving conflict today...
Pay with damaged relationships later.
The bill always arrives.
The only uncertainty is when.
Necessary Stress and Unnecessary Stress
One of the ideas I have shared throughout this newsletter is that we should stop attracting unnecessary stress.
At the same time, we should not run away from necessary stress.
Necessary stress prepares us.
It teaches us.
It develops capability.
Unnecessary stress often grows when we postpone dealing with necessary stress.
Ironically, avoiding one kind of stress frequently creates another.
A Better Question
When faced with a stressful situation, many people ask,
"How can I avoid this?"
Perhaps a more useful question is,
"What will this cost me if I avoid it?"
That single question changes our perspective.
It reminds us that every decision has consequences—not only the decisions we make, but also the decisions we postpone.
The INVITE STRESS Principle
The purpose of this newsletter has never been to encourage people to seek unnecessary hardship.
It is to encourage people not to fear the stress that accompanies meaningful action.
Stress often appears at the entrance to growth.
Behind that doorway may be greater competence, stronger relationships, improved health, or a more meaningful life.
The question is not whether the doorway is stressful.
The question is whether it is worth walking through.
Final Thought
The absence of stress is not always a sign that life is improving.
Sometimes it is a sign that life has stopped challenging us.
The next time you feel tempted to avoid a stressful situation, pause for a moment and ask yourself:
"Am I escaping unnecessary stress... or am I escaping an opportunity to grow?"
The answer may shape far more than the next few minutes.
It may shape the person you become.
Until next time,
Dr. Sujendra Prakash
INVITE STRESS – A New Perspective on Stress, Burnout, and Human Capability
"The stress you avoid today may become the burden you carry tomorrow."
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