Should I Always Believe My Feelings?
"My feeling is real. Is my conclusion also real?"
THE SUPRA WORKSHEET No. 12
Should I Always Believe My Feelings?
"My Feeling Is Real. Is My Conclusion Also Real?"
Time Required: 20–25 Minutes
Purpose
Feelings are real experiences.
But a feeling is not necessarily a fact.
Fear does not always mean danger.
Anger does not always mean injustice.
Sadness does not always mean hopelessness.
Guilt does not always mean wrongdoing.
Confidence does not always mean that we are prepared.
The purpose of this worksheet is to help you distinguish between:
What I feel → What I think it means → What I actually know → What I choose to do.
STEP 1
Identify One Strong Emotion
Think of a situation in which you recently experienced a strong emotion.
I felt:
□ Fear
□ Anger
□ Anxiety
□ Hurt
□ Guilt
□ Sadness
□ Jealousy
□ Frustration
□ Resentment
□ Excitement
□ Disappointment
□ Other
What happened?
STEP 2
How Strong Was the Emotion?
Rate its intensity.
1 = Very weak
10 = Extremely strong
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10
What did the emotion make you want to do?
STEP 3
What Did I Immediately Think?
Complete this sentence:
"Because I feel this way, I think that..."
For example:
I feel ignored → They don't respect me.
I feel afraid → Something terrible will happen.
I feel guilty → I must have done something wrong.
I feel angry → They deliberately hurt me.
STEP 4
Separate the Feeling from the Fact
Complete both statements.
What I feel:
What I believe is happening:
Now ask:
What do I actually know?
This is an important distinction.
Feeling ≠ Fact
STEP 5
What Evidence Do I Have?
What evidence supports my interpretation?
Now ask:
What evidence might contradict it?
Am I relying primarily on:
□ Evidence
□ Assumption
□ Memory
□ Fear
□ Previous experience
□ Someone else's opinion
□ Imagination
□ Incomplete information
STEP 6
The Alternative Explanation Test
What else could explain what happened?
Try to identify at least three possibilities.
Possibility 1
Possibility 2
Possibility 3
Which explanation has the strongest evidence?
STEP 7
What Is the Emotion Telling Me?
Instead of asking whether the emotion is right or wrong, ask:
"What information might this emotion be giving me?"
My emotion may be telling me:
Is there something I need to investigate?
STEP 8
Is My Emotion Asking Me to Act?
What did I feel like doing?
□ Confront someone
□ Avoid someone
□ Withdraw
□ Quit
□ Spend money
□ Eat
□ Argue
□ Send a message
□ Take revenge
□ Seek reassurance
□ Do nothing
□ Other
Now ask:
"Is acting on this emotion the best response?"
□ Yes
□ No
□ I'm not sure
Why?
STEP 9
The Three-Second Pause
Imagine that you could return to the moment when the emotion first appeared.
Before acting, what could you have asked yourself?
STOP
What am I feeling?
CHECK
What actually happened?
SEPARATE
What do I know from what I am assuming?
CHOOSE
What is the most appropriate response?
STEP 10
What Would a Neutral Observer Say?
Imagine that a completely neutral person had witnessed the situation.
What might they say?
Would they necessarily interpret the situation in exactly the same way?
□ Yes
□ No
□ I'm not sure
Why?
STEP 11
What Happens If I Obey the Emotion?
If I act immediately on this emotion, what could happen?
Immediately:
Later:
Eventually:
STEP 12
What Happens If I Examine the Emotion First?
If I pause, examine the situation, and then choose my response, what could happen?
Immediately:
Later:
Eventually:
STEP 13
My New Response
Complete the sentence:
"I cannot always choose what I feel, but I can choose..."
Now complete:
"The next time I experience this emotion, I will..."
THE FINAL CHECK
Look at the situation again.
Complete these four statements:
I felt:
I thought it meant:
What I actually know is:
What I choose to do is:
Reflection
What did I learn about the difference between my feelings and reality?
What emotion most often influences my decisions?
What will I do differently the next time it appears?
THE SUPRA PRINCIPLE
Feelings are real. Conclusions need to be checked.
You do not have to suppress an emotion.
You do not have to argue with it.
You do not have to obey it.
Listen to it. Examine it. Understand it. Then decide.
An emotion can be a valuable signal without becoming your decision-maker.
YOUR WEEKLY REMINDER
Whenever a strong emotion appears, pause and ask:
"What am I feeling?"
Then:
"What do I think this feeling means?"
Then:
"What do I actually know?"
And finally:
"What is the most appropriate thing for me to do?"
Feel → Pause → Examine → Separate → Choose
Your feelings deserve to be heard.
Your conclusions deserve to be examined.
Your actions deserve to be chosen.
Please do not include any spam links in the comment box.